Tuesday, December 30, 2008

The beginning of Season #7

And the SE Asia A5 Champions move up town to AA3.

With more fan support, bigger players and a MONSTER of a stadium, the CATS plan to find themselves knocking at AAA by seasons end. Stay tuned as the CATS first regular season game will be at 0700 hrs CST on 3 Jan 08 against the Portland Microbrews in THE CATS LIAR!!!

Saturday, December 20, 2008

SE ASIA A5 CHAMPIONS!!!!

It took three long seasons, from 13-3 in their first year, to an upset that kept them from the championship last season. But the GOLDEN CATS of Taiping came through and won 35-19 against the undefeated Singapore Sling.

CONGRATS to the fans, people and players of the CATS. Take a few days off, and get ready to do it all again in SE Asia AA3 in season seven.

Friday, December 19, 2008

SE ASIA - A #5 LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP GAME!!!!

The CATS have chosen to be silent for this game.......

League Championship Game:

Singapore Sling (19-0) vs. TAIPING GOLDEN CATS (18-1)

December 20, 2008. Time - 2100 hrs CST

BE THERE!!!!!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

THE NAGA CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!

In a close one, the CATS came out on top against the Birdflu 41-34. Bring their overall record to 17-1 in season #6.

Now it is time to visit the Poontang and avenge their heartbreaking loss with :12 seconds left to loose 42-40 the last time these teams met. The Poon is ready; the CATS are too. Will this be as close as the last time? Who will represent NAGA in the League Championship? Tune in, tomorrow December 18th at 2100 hrs CST to find out!!!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

ONE DOWN, TWO TO GO!!!!

The CATS smoked the Ronin in their first playoff match 77-10. The Birdflu come to town once again. Will they learn from their loss against the CATS in the regular season finale? Doubt it, as they will try to run, run, run using their QB and RBs in the QB slot. What about those FBs in the TE spot? Hint to the Flu: We got our vaccinations and CATS love birds!!!!

Tonight, 2100 hrs CST

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

The battle between the Undefeated!!!!

First, a press release from the CATS MLB Brody Taylor:

"Due to the selfish actions of BOOM and Backie, I will be taking a vacation until the playoffs. If they want to take all the sacks and get all the glory, then they can just do it all by them selves." This is a quote from Brody Taylor as he walked to his vehicle after the Deadly Snatch game. After Taylor entered his vehicle he rolled down the window and stated, "if you want me I will be at the Hungry Beaver."He then sprayed a substance into the air, causing all of the female news crew to run after his vehicle, tearing off their clothes as they ran. One reporter noted that Taylors license plate read SXPNTHR. We are looking into a definition and will report as we get it.*Action News - Channel 12*

Are the CATS having trouble in Taiping??? Will this effect their game play against the Poon?

This just in...Brody Taylor was seen leaving the Hungry Beaver, wearing the same clothes from yesterday. He appears to be headed in the direction of The Cat's Lair. Our news crew is following his vehicle down the highway. We will let you know, if in fact, the Cat's star LB goes to the game. Time is short so stay tuned.*Action News - Channel 12*

To make things worse, it looks like Jack Backie and Taylor are having feuds between the ladies of Taiping:

"Good evening Phil this is Tits Mcgee reporting live from The Cats Lair for Channel 9 where Cats DE Jack Backie has just arrived for tonight's game. Backie was uncharacteristically tight lipped when asked to comment on reports that team mate and long term comrade Brody Taylor was refusing to take the field with Backie in the team. Fans will recall that Backie and Taylor started their football careers together at LSU where they formed the cornerstone of the defence that guided the Tigers to the BCS title in 2007. Seemingly inseparable on and off the field their names became synonymous with off field antics culminating in the infamous "Beavergate" incident.It is believed the presence of Taylor in Taiping was a major factor in Backie's decision to leave Krakow and head east and the reports of a rift have surprised those closest to the two.....Wait just a minute..... Backie and Taylor have appeared at a window on the first floor,they appear to be waving me in..Lord what's that smell?? Sorry Phil You'll have to come back to me this needs further investigation. This is Tits Mcgee entering the Cats Lair"

Stay tuned for tomorrow night's game to find out if this was just a media stunt or are the CATS imploding from within........

Thursday, December 4, 2008

11-0 and Jack Backie is at it again!!!

Reports are filtering through from Kendari that maverick Taiping Defensive End Jack Backie has become embroiled in yet another sex scandal. Taiping fans will be aware of the endless stream of paternity suits that caused Backie's premature departure from Eastern European powerhouse the Krakow Gutter Runners and led to him acquiring the nickname "Barebackie".It was hoped by his agent Fumbbler that the move to the hotter Climes of Taiping might slow Backie down, but it appears his on field prowess is once again destined to be overshadowed by off field events.The latest "incident" revolves around Backie being seen leaving a Kendari nightclub with well known transvestite cabaret star Iva Dick.When asked to comment Backie's agent had this to say " Jack has assured me this is all a misunderstanding,he was fully aware Iva is in fact a man and they were in his room discussing a possible Sex Panther tie-in."Reports Backie was seen at 3 am hammering on the room door of team -mate Brody Taylor yelling "You Git She's a dude" remain unconfirmed.This all follows on from reports of a rift in the Taiping dressing room with rumours of in fighting between members of the infamous "Taiping Wall". Backie had earlier admitted in cahoots with Taylor,spraying Sex Panther on the uniforms of several of his defensive colleagues in what he described as a free promotion. Sex Panther being made from bits of real panthers, is known to raise testosterone to dangerous levels and in some cases lead to the manifestation of verbally aggressive behaviour.In order to detract from the alleged simmering feud team owner Scoran has installed hot tubs in the locker room and increased the size of the cheerleader squad from 16 to 20.Fortunately off field events have not thus far affected the team's results with the trip to Kendari ending in a 178-0 victory for the Wildcats.

On a lighter note, the CATS host the Myanmar Cyclones tonight at 10:00PM EST!!!

Monday, December 1, 2008

10-0 AGAIN!!!!

A press release from CATS DE Jackie Backie:

It was today announced Taiping Golden Cats Defensive End Jack Backie is to be the face of Odeon's "Sex Panther" The cologne for men. The ruggedly handsome Backie is said to be the ideal choice to promote the infamously pungent scent.When asked to comment Backie's agent Fumbbler said " Its illegal in 9 countries and made from bits of real panther so you know its real good, Jack's delighted to be associated with such a quality product."Backie himself was unavailable for comment but was later seen emerging from the Channel 9 trailer with reporter Betty Gotsome, Cats Linebacker Brody Taylor, 2 cheerleaders and a large smile. The Cats are of course on a 10 game winning streak which should continue in Kendari tomorrow.Rumours of a sex and beer ban being introduced by notoriously strict owner scoran appear to have escaped Backie and Taylor,who have negotiated a late flight to the home of the Red Elephants thereby enabling them to officially open Taiping's premier lap dancing club the Hungry Beaver, in which they have a 50% stake.